


keep myself protected, safe

by anthones



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthones/pseuds/anthones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex, despite what everyone thought, wasn’t exactly something he gave away willy-nilly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep myself protected, safe

Sex, despite what everyone thought, wasn’t exactly something he gave away willy-nilly. Sure, there were a lot of people he’d gone down on. And that was enough for them, usually. He’d been told he was very good at it. And, given the stories that had been everywhere before about him coming out, he wasn’t surprised that no one really pressed him. The women probably were worried about making him feel bad and the men maybe were too afraid to ask. (He almost felt bad for generalizing so much, but then he didn’t feel much like wasting energy on them, either.) There were only a few people that he'd actually gotten completely naked with. Rhodey was one. Pepper another. (There was a third, who was actually the first, but Tony hated to think about him. He… shit, he was dead, there wasn’t any point in thinking about it any longer.) Only a select few could boast at having actually slept with Tony Stark.

But god fucking damn it if he hadn’t wanted to fuck Bruce Banner as soon as he’d seen him.

Being on the Helicarrier with him had been bad enough. They were so close and—like the cliché—still not close enough. Working with him was already a dream. Who else understood Tony when he spoke? He couldn’t imagine sex being any better. And that was almost enough incentive to try and entice a relationship like that right off the bat. But Tony had his secrets, ones that, as previously stated, hadn’t been secret for a long time, but were still near and dear to his heart. If he were to try and just come out with it… he didn’t know if he could handle it going badly, he wanted it so much.

And so the dance had begun.

Tony sighed and looked out on the city below, lit up bright. Was a dark night even possible here? Averting his gaze to the sky, Tony wondered: Had he even seen a full sky of stars before? He shook his head; no, but Bruce probably had.

Bruce was obviously aware of what was going on—he never mentioned anything, but there was a knowingly look in his eye when Tony spoke to him. It made him feel like he was pre-op all over again. The other man’s eyes on him made him feel uncomfortable in his skin, but there was something great about it, too. Something about Bruce made Tony want to be different and nothing like he’d ever been before. For the first time, he thought maybe he wasn’t strictly a man. (But not a woman, never a girl, he was not female. No.) He made Tony feel like... like something more.

Tony had developed the habit of sauntering up beside Bruce and giving him a cheeky grin before diving into some discussion of science. The first couple of times Bruce had definitely been caught off guard. Hell, the first few weeks of him living in the tower was awkward. Tony would be minding his own business and just stumble upon him, lurking quietly like he wasn’t supposed to be there. He understood that Bruce was a little reserved, but… Jesus. Even that was a little much.

But after a couple months of being around each other they both finally relaxed (although Tony wouldn’t admit to never having been so, he had jumped a few times Bruce came into the lab) and things were really nice. Tony would scoot past Bruce in just the right way so they rubbed against each other and Bruce would roll his eyes. Sometimes movie nights would happen, with or without the rest of the team, but they always were next to each other on the couch. If everyone else attended, then they’d be crammed together with their entire sides touching. If it was just the two of them, they would be apart, taking up all the space, but with small touches, like Tony propping his feet up on Bruce’s lap or Bruce’s outstretched hand along the back of the couch just barely brushing Tony’s shoulder. It was a good set-up, he had to admit. He almost loved the latter more because of all the heat that became focused on that one spot. It drove him mad.

The only problem was that he was entirely tired of touching Bruce and it not going anywhere. He’d made himself obvious from the start, he thought. But Bruce wasn’t biting. Was it because he didn’t find him attractive? Tony found that hard to believe. He’d caught Bruce looking before. His own insecurities might have attributed it to looking for ways to know, but he’d already taken care of those a long time ago. True, he’d never had bottom surgery done, but that was what packers were for. And he was mostly alright without it, anyway. He liked himself the way he was now and couldn’t believe that Bruce would be looking for chinks in his armor. He could be an ass, sure, but he wasn’t  _that_  kind of ass.

Or was he? Wasn’t that what this whole point of the mess going on in Tony’s head?  _Is Bruce a transphobic asshole or isn’t he? Would a relationship even be possible between us?_  If there was any kind reservation about Tony’s gender identity, then he was sure Bruce would have said it before moving in. Or wouldn’t have moved in at all. Transphobic assholes tended to avoid trans people as much as they could, right? Tony glowered, leaning on the balcony as he thought about times he’d been ignored or avoided right after coming out. Before being recognized meant getting flooded with attention—afterwards it meant people crossing the street so they wouldn’t have to walk by you. Or crossing the street himself to avoid a group of big, drunk men who certainly wouldn’t care that he was worth each of them ten times over. He was certain that Bruce wasn’t like that, but then he had to worry about the other end of the spectrum, too—would Bruce just like him for the chance of being with someone different? Not different like science, intelligent, finally being able to speak the same language—what if he just wanted to fuck Tony to say he’d done a transman?

A light knock interrupted his thoughts and Tony looked over, unsurprised to see the shaggy haired scientist at his door. There was a mildly apologetic look on his face, as if he knew he was interrupting something important.

Tony waved him in. Now was as good a time as any. “What’s up, buttercup?” He grimaced. God, that had sounded a lot less terrible in his head.

Bruce shrugged and walked over. He stood beside Tony, staying upright. Tony looked at him expectantly, still leaning over, before sighing and straightening. He crossed his arms over his chest; his scars itched for the first time in a long while.

“You know, I’m pretty sure that talking should be a thing that you do,” he said. “I mean, I’m not a mind reader. But I can still tell there’s something on your mind. And, like I said, I can’t read your mind to see what it is. So." He gestured vaguely with his crossed arms. "Out with it.”

Bruce didn’t squirm like Tony hoped he would. No, this wasn’t some silly romantic day dream like he wanted it to be. Bruce just rolled his eyes and leaned on the balcony and Tony knew it wasn’t going to be anything that he really wanted to talk about.

He waited for the other man to speak, but he didn’t say a word. Bruce just looked down at the city like Tony had been doing a moment earlier. Stubbornly, he refused to resume the action, until it was apparent that Bruce really wasn’t talking. So Tony leaned down next to him, their arms brushing against each other, and he chewed on his lip. He needed something to say. Something to break the silence and distract himself from hoping too much.

“You ever seen a real night sky? I mean, with a ton of stars and everything?” Tony asked, looking up again. He was beginning to really wish he had.

Bruce glanced over at him, apparently surprised. “Yeah, quite a few times.” He paused. “Haven’t you?”

Tony just shook his head. He might have seen something in the desert—in all honesty, it was probably very, very likely, but he couldn’t remember it, so it didn’t count. Even if Tony could remember seeing the stars then, he wouldn't want to associate it with that time. He shuddered just thinking about it.

“Huh.” He seemed to try and trace Tony's thoughts a moment, to figure out the origins of the shudder, but sighed and gave up. Then Bruce looked up at the sky, too, contemplative. “Guess that means I’ll have to take you somewhere you can.”

Tony frowned and furrowed his brow. Had he—? He narrowed his eyes at Bruce, trying to keep himself from smirking.

“That sounded suspiciously like something a Disney prince would say.”  A Whole New World came to mind in particular, but that was probably his own biased opinion on how this should end.

Bruce chuckled and shook his head. “I guess it did, didn’t it?” He gave another little sigh, this one sounding more frustrated with himself than Tony. “How appropriate.”

That made Tony’s smirk disappear. His heart raced in the slightest—he had to be careful about this.

“How so?”

Bruce shrugged, leaning into Tony and resting his head on his shoulder. It caught the engineer by surprise and he almost felt like he was going to fall over, but they both stayed upright.

“Oh, you know.”

 


End file.
